Report: Pentagon To Abandon Two-War Strategy

An item for your Rumor of War files, it seems that the U.S. is now confident that major war could not break out in two places at the same time. I am relieved to know that my fears regarding the Russian and Chinese "anti-American hegemony" strategy are not well founded. I'm also relieved to know that even though the Korean War is still not formally over, the Defense Department does not expect it to ever resume, even as we maintain thousands of American troops on the DMZ. It's also good to know that even though the Gulf War never officially concluded with a peace treaty, Iraq is not expected to instigate any major conflicts in the near future. In short, we should regard this as very good news and proof of an unprecedented standardization of history and events: one war at a time, please.